When I was in elementary school, long before water bottles, and Hydro Flasks, the item in my lunch box that I like the most was my Aladin Thermos. To me, this really seemed like a magical container, keeping my soup hot or chocolate milk cold. And not only did the thermos deliver at the perfect temperature, it also had a cup that fit neatly over the stopper which could then be used as a drinking cup or soup bowl. It could always be counted on to deliver at just the right temperature….until it could not.
What gave the thermos its magical power was a glass “vacuum flask” which was ingeniously
hidden between the metal outer and inner layers. If you were unlucky enough to drop or even bump the thermos too hard, oftentimes the glass flask would break. But because the glass was trapped between the shiny metal, you never saw the broken pieces, but if you heard that signature rattle, you knew the thermos could no longer work as promised. The shiny metal outside layer was still intact, as was the inner layer. It didn’t leak at all when you filled it with you favorite hot or cold beverage. It was only when you unscrewed the lid that you realized that the temperature was no longer true to what had been poured into it.
There have been days when I have felt like that broken thermos. To all outward appearances, I looked the same, and I could still contain the sorrows and joys that were mine to take in each day. Yet, inside, I was aware of my broken heart and unrealized dreams. I don’t feel that I am alone in experiencing this. Aren’t there times when we all feel broken in one way or another? Yet we appear to be perfectly alright, sometimes our shiny metal isn’t even dented.
Most of us all do our best to fulfill our promises, uphold our commitments, and hold one
another’s sorrows and joys while often appearing to be dependable and unbroken. There is a wealth of strength to be found in being vulnerable, in sharing with one another. When our hearts break, or dreams shatter, there is much support to be found in allowing ourselves to be supported by people who we love and can trust. Sharing our hearts is one way of helping our hearts to heal.
I often have to remind myself, that everyone has a fragile layer within them, encased in the
“dependable shiny metal” container of the parts of their lives they allow others to see. All to often I look at someone’s life and assume that all is well, without really knowing what sorrow they may be carrying. So, as I reflect on the fragile inner core of a much – loved thermos, I am reminded not to judge a person from what I can see, but rather to take the time to get to know them, to be a gentle listener as they work to gather their fragments, and offer a safe place in which they can share their heart.
Domenica Rafferty, LPC 