“Well Done, You!”

As many of you know, in addition to my work as a psychotherapist I facilitate two bereavement groups. Meeting with the groups each week is a privilege that I hold dear.

Anyone who is grieving the death of someone they love is welcome to attend the meetings. We share our hearts and our sorrows, and over time people who began as strangers have formed deep and caring bonds of friendship. Out of the depth of heartbreak comes the healing beauty of kindness, compassion and empathy.

Over the past few years there has been a gentleman who has graced our group with his heartfelt memories of his dear wife. Ian’s heart broke when his beloved wife died, and he was always perfectly clear in sharing that sorrow with us. He was also always kind and generous in sharing his heart with us, he always took the time to uplift us all, especially welcoming and encouraging new members of the group. Ian encouraged us to take good care of our own health, and to also think about and make solid plans for our own futures.

At our meeting this past Saturday, as we came to terms with Ian’s death, we shared memories of him. We laughed and cried. We read a section of a Wordsworth poem that he held dear (below). We, who were once strangers, shared our hearts and comforted one another. While living with his own broken heart, Ian had enriched the lives of others. With a heart full of gratitude, I say to Ian what he often said to us, “Well done, you!”

GRIEVE NOT
(Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood, 175-186)

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

~ William Wordsworth