This weekend I had the privilege to participate in a seminar about “end of life” issues offered by a local church. It was time well spent. I learned a great deal, and I was reminded once again of the importance of end-of-life planning.
While some folks may be uncomfortable thinking about their mortality, it may be easier if we think of it in the context of the loving relationships that we have with family members and certain friends. If planning for the end of your life is a task you’ve been avoiding, consider the task a a gift for those you love. This may help you begin and accomplish this important task.
There are a number of ways to make end-of-life plans. Most funeral directors and clergy will be willing to assist you. You can make detailed plans such as the readings and music that you would like, types of service, place and type of internment, in some cases you can even choose to pre-pay for your funeral. In all of this, you are actually giving one last gift to those whom you love. When their hearts are broken, and their sorrow is new and profound, your loved ones won’t have to guess about what you would have wanted.
Another aspect of end-of-life issues is how you want to approach the end of life and want to be cared for. Decisions about hospice, medical treatments, and organ donations can be overwhelming. The more you can speak openly and honestly with the person or people you trust, the sweeter the gift you are giving your loved one.
One resource that I have found to be invaluable in facilitating these preliminary discussions is a booklet called Five Wishes. The booklet is an invitation to initiate some (perhaps otherwise) difficult discussions. It is available at the link below.
For a nominal fee of $5. you can purchase either a paper or digital copy of this 20 page resource. You can use it to open up discussions with family members, and you can share it with your funeral director and clergy. Most importantly you will have the peace of mind of knowing that you have taken the burden from your family to make difficult decisions during heartbreaking times. Knowing that you fulfilled your loved one’s wishes can be a balm to your heart.
Please remember that when your loved one dies, your heart breaks and nothing will be the same, every facet of your life will be changed. Be gentle with yourself. Avail yourself of people that you love and trust. Know that love will never end.
Link to 5 Wishes:
https://store.fivewishes.org/ShopLocal/en/p/FW-MASTER-000/five-wishes-paper
Domenica Rafferty, LPC 